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GIFT IDEAS
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"Old age is no place for sissies."
Bette Davis
CynicalSenior.com
Lowering the Bar for Life's Expectations
Your parties aren’t as much fun as they used to be, are they?
Well, duh, you’re hanging with old people more concerned with their medical issues than having good time.
The Cynical Senior has the answer: the Boomer Party Emergency Vehicle, parked in your driveway and staffed with specially trained EMTs ready to diagnose, treat and if necessary, whisk your fallen guests to the ER. Your guests can literally “party till they drop,” receive immediate medical attention, and get back to the fun or take a ride for more serious help.
Problems such as:
- ·Cardiac Arrest
- ·Arrhythmia
- ·Stroke
- ·Alcohol and Drug Interactions
- ·Erectile Dysfunction
- ·Drug Overdose
- ·COPD Problems
- ·High Blood Glucose Levels
- ·Broken Bones and Sprains
- ·Choking
Can be promptly addresses by trained EMTs ready to administer:
- ·Oxygen
- ·CPR
- ·Defibrillation
- ·Epinephrine and Atropine
- ·Viagra
- ·Splints
- ·The Heimlich Maneuver
or whatever treatment is required. The vehicle is also stocked with wheelchairs, canes, walkers, Depends and even hearing aid batteries to get the partiers back to the action. The Boomer Party Emergency Vehicle is the perfect addition to 50th birthday and 60th birthday parties, retirement parties, or any baby boomer or senior event.
Let the good times roll again! The Boomer Party Emergency Vehicle puts your guests’ minds at ease for now, but also reminds them that the Grim Reaper may appear at the door anytime, so they should “party like there is no tomorrow.”
Remember the immortal words of The Doors’ Jim Morrison in Roadhouse Blues (unfortunately Jim did not have The Boomer Party Emergency Vehicle available)?
“When I woke up this morning, I got myself a beer.
The future's uncertain and the end is always near.
Let it roll, baby, roll.
Let it roll, baby, roll.
Let it roll, baby, roll.
Let it roll all night long.”
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Twisted Humor for
Aging Baby Boomers
- Senior Fatique; Speed, a Short Term Solution
- Baby Boomer Party Emergency
Vehicle- Vaginal dryness; Non-stick vibrators
- Cognitive impairment-join Mensa
- Senior Exercise Motivation; Voyuerism
Your parties aren’t as much fun as they used to be, are they?
Park This in Your Driveway!
