Alan:
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been
going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long
time.
So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he
was, walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave,
using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?
"Morris Fishbien," he replied.
"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.
I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop. I pray for all our
children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow
man."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a fuckin' wall."
We post only those jokes we find amusing--apparently we are often alone in this opinion.
Cynical Senior
It's Halloween, but it's not a costume!
HALLOWEEN 2007
Click on design below to view t-shirts, hats, cards, thongs, tops, bags calendars, aprons, yard banners, bumper stickers, magnets, buttons-etc.
DIck
Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Howard goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Annabel, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Howard turns to Annabel and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"
She asks, "What?"
He replies, "SEX!!!"
Annabel exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"
"I know," Howard says, "but it would be nice if a woman just held it for a while."
"Well, I can oblige," says Annabel, who gently unzips his trousers and removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
They agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Annabel would hold Howard's manhood.
Then, one night, Howard didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Annabel decided to find Howard and make sure that he was okay. She walked around the home until she found him sitting by the pool with Sarah, who was holding Howard's manhood!
Furious, Annabel yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does she have that I don't have?"
Howard smiled and replied, "Parkinson's!"
What's todays, "joke du jour?"
The joke of the day, duh!
Redundant is redundant
An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his
life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very
sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was
anything wrong.
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My private
part died today, and I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a
little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr.
Goldstein, please accept my condolences."
The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the
hall with his private part hanging out of his pajamas,
when he met Nurse Tracy.
"Mr. Goldstein," she said "you shouldn't be walking
down the hall like that, please put your private part
back inside your pajamas."
"But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you
yesterday that my private part died."
"Yes, you did tell me that, but, why is it hanging out
of your pajamas?" asked Nurse Tracy.
"Well, he replied, "Today"s the viewing .
I Bowl Alone
